Fortunes
by NekoMegami-chan
Summary: Before they ever went west - they went to dinner. (Dedicated to my little sister.)


isclaimer: I don't own it Gensomaden Saiyuki. Do you?

Warning: mild swearing ahead.

A/N: This is kind of like a short prologue to the Saiyuki series. It's actually based on an old in-joke with some friends of mine but it works really well as a Saiyuki ficlet. At least, I hope it does. That's up to you readers to decide.

Fortunes

Genjou Sanzo. Son Goku. Cho Hakkai. Sha Gojyo. Before they ever went West - they went to dinner. As the sun set the four young men walked though the evening crowds of last minute shoppers and people hurrying home to loved ones.

"Maa, Sanzo!" Goku whined, trotting backwards and looking up at his keeper in the fading twilight. "Why do we have to go to dinner at that fancy place? The noodle cart near the men's public bathhouse has the best food in the village! And they serve _big_ portions!"

Gojyo muttered around his cigarette and kicked Goku in the chest, knocking him off balance and sending him sprawling on his ass, "Shut up, monkey. If the corrupt monk wants to take us out to a nice restaurant, then who are we to complain?"

Goku growled and leapt back to his feet, though a forceful whack from Sanzo's paper fan stopped him from punching the water sprite's lights out. Instead, he secretly vowed revenge, determining to eat the last bite of Gojyo's food.

Hakkai just smiled tolerantly and continued walking; his dragon perched on his shoulder. A random passer by silently pitied the pretty man with the monocle who mildly put up with his companion's embarrassing antics.

They arrived at the door to the traditional style restaurant a few minutes later. Hakuryuu squealed and pushed off of Hakkai's shoulder before disappearing into the dusky sky. An older woman, old enough not to merit more than a polite grunt of thanks from Gojyo, helped them slip out of their shoes and into matching pairs of guest slippers. The lady bowed and led the four young men into the dining room and to the table Sanzo had reserved for them.

"So why the special treatment, anyway?" Gojyo asked after the hostess had departed and the waitress had taken their orders.

Hakkai sipped his sake. "To be honest, I would like to know the answer to that as well." The eyebrow above the reflective monocle quirked upward in question.

"I was contacted by the Sanbutshin today," Sanzo answered bluntly, his quiet voice rolling smoothly over the little table.

Goku grinned and laced his fingers behind his head, nearly elbowing Gojyo in the head in the process. "Heh! So _that's_ where you where all day!" He laughed. "All those baldies kept running around whispering to each other but no one would tell me where you went. That's when I got hungry and climbed up into that one peach tree in the courtyard and..."

A vein twitched on Sanzo's forehead. "Shut up!" he ground out through clenched teeth. "As I was saying, the Sanbutshin summoned me today. And, as you might have guessed, they didn't just feel like having a chat over tea. I, or should I say 'we' have a mission. We have to travel west to India and reclaim the other founding scriptures of Heaven and Earth, as well as kick the asses of some idiots who are trying to revive Gyumaoh using the forbidden combination of dark magic and science."

"What's this 'we' shit all about? Why do Hakkai and I have to go on this little trek of yours?" Gojyo interjected. "I mean, I understand wanting to take your monkey-brained sidekick, but what have the two of us got to do with this?"

"You're going to be my servants," Sanzo replied steadily.

"Like hell we are!" Gojyo burst out, just as the waitress arrived with their food. Gojyo forced himself to smile charmingly at her while she set out the bowls of steaming rice, vegetables, noodles and meat.

"Listen, hauling your sorry asses along isn't exactly my idea of a good time," Sanzo said, slapping Goku's hands away from a bowl of noodles long enough to put some on his own plate. "But the Sanbutshin made it painfully clear that I was required to take you three morons weather I wanted to or not, and believe me, I _don't_."

Hakkai deftly stole the rice bowl out from under Gojyo's fingers before his red-headed housemate could take all of the white grains for himself. "And what if we refuse?" he asked. "Not that I'm saying we will, but just for curiosity's sake?"

"Then it's likely that the world as we know it will end," Sanzo replied casually before raising a slice of meat to his lips. He was, after all, a horrible monk and a meatless diet was a vow even his idyllic master had avoided. When he had swallowed he added, "I don't know if you've noticed, but it's already started. The weaker youkai are loosing their minds; getting violent though seemingly unprovoked. Apparently, it's the result of something called the Minus Wave, a force of some kind which is a bi-product of the efforts to raise Gyumaoh."

"Well then," Hakkai smiled, "we'd better not refuse. Eh, Gojyo?"

"I suppose so." the half-demon said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Sanzo knew that it was Gojyo's way of offering his help. "But let's get one thing straight. If we're going all the way to India – I call shotgun!"

Sanzo glared at the man sitting across from him. "Like hell you will."

Hakkai laughed, "At least I get to sit in the front, seeing as how I'll be driving. I'll leave the seating arrangements to the rest of you."

Having cleared his plate, Goku was reaching for thirds and since his mouth was empty he decided to use it for something other than food. In his mind, it was past time he put his two-cents into the conversation. "I don't mind getting away from the monastery for a while; I could use the exercise. And besides, anywhere Sanzo goes, I go too."

"So it's settled then. We'll go west and save the world," Hakkai said.

"Yeah, no big deal," Gojyo added, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Goku sat back, as close to being full as he ever got. The waitress returned, shocked that four men could have eaten so much (she had believed that much of the food would end up going home with them) and began loading the empty plates and bowls onto a cart. Goku smiled up at her with wide golden eyes. "Excuse me miss! You don't happen to have any fortune cookies do you? I mean, for dessert?"

The girl nodded; utterly amazed that anyone could want dessert after such a meal.

"I'll have two please!" Goku cried.

Sanzo smacked his charge over the head with his paper fan. "We'll all have one, just one, each," he told the waitress.

The poor girl just nodded again and disappeared into the kitchen with the dishes.

They where sipping sake and reclining in their chairs when the waitress tossed four fortune cookies and the bill on the table before hurrying away, as if afraid that she too would be eaten. Gojyo pouted as he watched her delicate backside hurry away to serve another table. He imagined how soft she would feel, her chest pressed to his, their bodies intertwined...

Gojyo was brought back to reality by Goku trying to pry the cookie out of his hand. "Hey! You already ate yours monkey boy! Leave my cookie alone!"

"You snooze you loose, pervert! I saw the way you were looking at her you cockroach!" Goku scoffed.

"Hey, at least I _like_ women. All you like is food!" Gojyo retorted.

Hakkai interrupted the blossoming fight before it could come to its inevitable blows. The restaurant's other patrons, most of them wealthy, were starting to watch them and the telltale vein in Sanzo's forehead was beginning to pulse. "Now, now children. Let's behave at the table, please."

"Whatever," Gojyo shrugged and broke the crescent shaped cookie in half, removed the paper and popped the crunchy sweet into his mouth.

"Hey, Hakkai. What does your fortune say?" Goku asked.

Hakkai looked down at the little strip of paper, closed his bad eye and read the small black characters written on it. "'Patience is your greatest virtue; you will soon have much need of it'," Hakkai read aloud. "'Your Lucky Numbers: 3, 24, 7, 15'."

Goku struggled to read the characters on his fortune, "Mine says, 'Strength is your ally; work hard to become stronger.' Wow, that's good advice!" He turned the paper over, "19, 21, 1, 8."

Gojyo lit a cigarette and looked down at the tiny strip of paper in his hand. "'You are a good friend, but do not let a bad past spoil your outlook' it says. Oh, and my lucky numbers are 6, 9, 34 and 2."

"What does yours say, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

"C'he," Sanzo snorted, "It's stupid. I'm not reading it out loud."

"C'mon, Sanzo! We all read ours, now it's your turn," Goku was excited. "I wanna hear what your fortune is!"

"I'll read it if you want," Hakkai offered.

Realizing that he wasn't going to get away without disclosing his so-called fortune, at least not without a fight, Sanzo sighed. "Fine, but I warned you, it's stupid." He paused, squinting to read without his glasses, "'You are a kind, gentle individual and everyone likes you.' Bullshit."

Hakkai struggled to hide his laughter behind his hand – and failed miserably. "I'm terribly sorry Sanzo, but – that fortune cookie lied!"

Gojyo nearly fell out of his chair, his red hair spilling over his face as he bent double, "No shit it lied! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!" he gasped out.

Together the housemates laughed until tears sprang to their eyes and Gojyo felt faint from lack of air. All the while Sanzo sat in stony silence, his mouth set in a hard line.

Goku desperately tried to defend his keeper against his friends' laughter, "It's true! Sanzo is a really good guy! He's nice – well, except when you talk too loud, or too much; or when it's raining, or when it's super hot, or when he's out of cigarettes...."

"You're not helping, stupid monkey!" Sanzo growled, his purple eyes snapping dangerously. "Damn all of you," he grumbled sourly. "Now let's pay our bill and get the hell out of here."

(Elsewhere)

In the rosy light of Heaven, at the edge of a great pool of lilies, Kanzeon Botatsu lounged on her throne and laughed her ass off. When she had control of herself, the only sign of her continued amusement was a quirky smile. "Ah, Konzen. I'm so glad your friends found my little prank as funny as I did. You have always been so easy, and yet so satisfying, to annoy. I hope you never change!"

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hoped you enjoyed this rather pointless story. In fact, it kind of sucked. It had no plot and it took so long to get to the punch line that it was probably pretty boring to read. Well, it was mostly done for my own pleasure and that of my friends, so if you like it, that's great.

Oh, and I know that fortune cookies (at least as we know them) were invented in Hollywood back at the beginning of the 20th century, but seeing as how they have guns, a jeep and credit cards in Saiyuki I figured throwing in American –style fortune cookies couldn't hurt.


End file.
